Sometimes life is not about what you learn, but how you learn it.  In the case of my brother Jack, I learned by watching. 

As I became aware of my surroundings when I was a kid, all seemed well except for one thing:  my brother Jack.  I really did not know what to make of him.  He was older, stronger, more talkative, always into things and a constant source of attention in the house. 

At first it was simple:  in order to get along in the house and with my parents I just did not have to be like Jack.  Whatever it was he was doing, I made sure not to do that.  This won me big points early on.  And, you would think he would have learned, but he didn’t.

As life with him proceeded, we separately but mutually concluded that the best way to get along was not to have anything to do with each other.  Four years separated us, and that seemed like a century.  And, we were opposites in so many ways.  He did his thing and I did mine.  Still, I watched him.

At home he was the one at the dinner table laying it all out, giving my parents fits while I watched.  Or he would be out in the neighborhood always doing something to earn money.  Or he would be with a girl, and always the prettiest girl.  Or he would hang with the coolest guys in the neighborhood.  I watched while he seemed to climb up the social ladder at school.  I actually lived vicariously through him because he was doing all the things I was not doing, and it was a thrill for me to watch him doing them.  I was growing up the silent but observing “geek” while he was growing up always out there with the pretty girl or the right people…the “in crowd.”  I thought to myself at least one of us is putting it out there, and I was proud of him; secretly proud.

If you watch long enough you will finally see things for what they really are.  And in watching him I discovered one night when he was a senior in high school that he was no different from me…that he was just a kid who tried to push the envelope and he got burned, and burned bad.  He threw a party and all the right people were invited.  Trouble was, they didn’t show up.  On purpose they did not show up.  It was their way of telling him he really did not belong.  When I heard him later that night alone in his room crying, I realized deep down that he and I were really not all that different after all.

From that night on I loved him madly.

Over time as adults we attempted to have something in common, but nothing ever really clicked.  By then he was in the plumbing business with my Father and Mother:  Gulf Shamrock Plumbing.  I would sometimes be taken on in the family business as a “laborer” since I was so inept mechanically:  digging ditches, emptying septic tanks, answering the phone, helping with inventory, or taking the trash down to the dump.   When I watched him in a working environment, I was impressed.  And, I think he came to respect me some because I never took advantage of my role as the “son/brother of the Boss,”  because I always quiet and held my own.

We took different paths in life.  He stayed with the family business while I want on to College.  Even then I watched him from afar as he moved into his second marriage, had children and became an active member of his community.  All of that happened while I went from one College or University to another, accumulating degrees but not really holding down a job…yet.

What finally brought us together was our mutual faith in Jesus as our Savior and Lord.  In fact, it was Jack who led me through my first steps toward a path of life I have always found to be so rewarding, fascinating and challenging:  being a Christian.  When we got together, that was pretty much what we talked about.

In fact I am indebted to my brother in so many ways.  First of all, my College Education was supported by Gulf Shamrock.  All of what I am as a teacher came out of that support.  He worked as hard as my parents did to see that this would happen.  As already mentioned, my Christian faith began with time spent with him.  He helped me as my eyes were opened to an entirely new paradigm of thought for my life.  And, another way he helped me was to learn how to enjoy the moment.  He was better at that then I was, but remember:  I was watching him, and often just watching him enjoying was really good for me.

Life is so full of unexpected twists and turns, and I watched Jack go through his share.  What impressed me more than anything was his positive attitude.  This was a man who always saw the glass as half full, and that really influenced me a lot. 

Fate was fickle with us, and we really did not spend the time together we could have enjoyed.  But, the good news is that our ultimate fate is tied into our mutual faith and the time will come when our fellowship together will be eternal.

 L. Michael Hill
H.G.M. Jopson Professor of Biology, Emeritus
23 August, 2009.