Revising Practices, Continued
By Alice L. Trupe

Many students have been taught the conventional wisdom of writing concluding paragraphs and, as a consequence, turn out drearily predictable paragraphs that begin "In conclusion," summarize the main points, and restate the thesis. Conclusions need not be formulaic, though good ones show a clear relationship to the introductory paragraph, giving the paper a sense of completeness: "Here's what I set out to do, and I did it," such conclusions seem to say. The conclusion of an argumentative essay may briefly remind the reader of the main reasons for a course of action he should take or a new way of thinking about a topic. But writers may want to consider some additions like

• a quotation related to the topic,
• a question intended to keep the reader thinking about the topic after she has finished reading the essay,
• an anecdote or example that illustrates the thesis,
• a prediction or description of a change in society brought about by readers' taking some decisive step.

After reviewing the major components of the paper for focus, organization, and development, the writer may want to concentrate on style. A principle identified as desirable by many writers is clarity. What are the components of clarity? Generally, writers on style suggest using a high proportion of concrete and specific language. Concrete language creates images that are apprehended through sense perception. Some authorities suggest choosing short words of Anglo-Saxon origin over "impressive" words of Latin and Greek origin. Being specific means narrowing the category range of your words: choose "strolled," "trudged," or "marched" over "walked" or choose "chilled root beer," "a mint julep," or "a cup of steaming cocoa" over ""a drink." Be on the lookout for cliches, like "in this day and age," and ask students to replace them with fresh, original phrasing or delete them altogether.

Clarity also may be improved through attention to sentence structure. Reading a text aloud, thus bringing the ear as well as the eye into play, can reveal misplaced or confusing phrases. In the interests of clarity, many instructors of writing discourage the construction of sentences starting with "There is" or "There are," and others tell students to prefer the active voice over passive voice. As a matter of fact, the latter principle is included in the grammar checking portion of many word processing programs, leading students falsely to assume that passive voice is some kind of error. Most hard-and-fast directives, like "Never start a sentence with There is," are problematic, forcing students into awkward, unnatural constructions, so give such advice sparingly and make it context- specific!

Sentence variety is another characteristic of good writing. When a student writer's sentences are all declarative, following the same pattern--subject, verb, object or complement--varied with occasional compounding, he or she may need to be encouraged to take some risks with sentence rhythms. The easiest steps to take to increase sentence variety are to include an occasional question, to begin sentences with prepositional phrases, and to link sentences with subordinating conjunctions like because, if . . . then, although, etc.

Go on to Proofreading and Editing Strategies or return to Revising (page 1) or the Writing Process

By Alice L. Trupe, posted Sept. 23, 2001